Three years ago, on the anniversary of 9/11, I wrote this post that I want to republish this week as we all pause to consider the last decade and the impact of that day:
All day long I’ve been wondering what to say to my kids about 9/11 if they came home from school with questions. Or, what to say if they came home and had no questions. Or, what to say at all. Then I read this post at Child Caring and my mind began to clear. The bottom line, even for kids, is to help them remember a tough moment but in a way that makes them still feel safe and secure.
So, that’s what I did. As part of asking about their day, I quietly included: “Anything come up about 9/11? You realize that is today.” I just let it sit there. My middle schooler seemed puzzled that there is more to say. “Bush will be out of office soon and the people are still dead. Do we still have to keep talking about this?”
I told her I was distracted today because the world has forever changed because of 9/11 and I thought that we had to honor those that died by remembering them each year and trying to make our world safer and happier between anniversaries of that horrible day. That she seemed to get.
For my 5th grader, she heard her friends say “today is 9/11″ but didn’t remember the details very well as she was only 4 at the time. She just wanted to know if we were all safe and if the war was far from home. Very age appropriate for 10 year olds who are very focused on their immediate surroundings in many ways.
I’m reminded of an article I wrote a couple years ago on talking to kids about world events in which I talk about seeing the world as a child does when trying to talk to kids. I use this analogy:
Imagine that you are playing ball with your child – but the ball is a world that just experienced something bad. You look at the ball and see the event, remember past events, and think ahead to what may happen next – and then become a bit anxious. When our children look at the ball, they see the event, want to know that those they love are fine, whether soccer is still happening that day, and wonder what they will do tomorrow with their friends.
Here’s the link to the full article if you want to read more.
There is one more thing I made sure I told my kids about a day like today – that along with a healthy amount of rememberance, it is important to live life to the fullest, even today. In fact, that’s the best way of honoring the victims of 9/11 that I can think of, and the best message we can collectively send to the bad guys still out there.
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