Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder is featured today in a headline on www.People.com (yes, I know – that’s the kind of day I’m having!) in a story that is a dramatic contrast toother parent rockers currently in the news. Check out the headline:
He’s a rocker in his 40′s and a dad of a toddler. He was once told being a parent would be this great thing where he’s see the world as nice and amazing. But, instead he found himself looking around and getting really upset and mad at people ruining the world for his boy. And, more than that, he’s evaluating his own behavior and realizing he needs to tone it down. In his words from www.people.com:
“I don’t know what I’m going to say when she sees pictures of me hanging 30 feet off a rafter, over a crowd,” Vedder says. “At a certain point, you realize you have a responsibility more behind yourself and your need for adrenaline. I’m glad I did things in my 20s that were more reckless.”
Bravo! He “gets it”, as most of us have. Whether we have kids or not, as adults most of us come to the realization that the rules do change as we get older. And, once we become parents they change even more. We are expected to act responsibly and that is what our kids, communities and the world need us to do.
It is easy to get caught up in the negativity as Vedder described it. It is easy to get angry that our kids won’t have the “safe” world we had as kids. But, you know, the great thing about being kids is they really don’t know all the details. To them, their world is much more simple. Their world is home, school and friends. Until world events sneak into their lives intimately, kids just don’t feel the impact. That is an important point to remember.
I find seeing the world through my kids eyes really helpful. It reminds me that the world wasn’t always this way and helps me compartmentalize a bit. This gives me a way to turn off that negative background nose – the negative soundtrack of stuff in the news and in our minds we’ve all become so accustomed to. Seeing the world through their eyes really can be a good thing.
So, Eddie, try seeing the world through your daughter’s eyes. It will help you hear her soundtrack for a while and turn down yours. It will keep you focused on positive parenting and positive living, and not become so worn down by global issues that won’t have immediate solutions. Your anger won’t go away totally but will melt away long enough for you to really enjoy whatever it is you are doing with your daughter. That may be the best we can do at the moment – and we have our kids to thank for that.