This month we celebrate family and how we spend time with our family. Think about not just when you spend time with your famly but the quality of that time, and meeting each person’s needs. For eack of the next 4 weeks, focus on these ideas:
1.Family Time: where, when, who
Daily: Family meals are a wonderful way to capture family time each day. For some families, dinner is the best time, for others breakfast. If your family’s schedule is too nutty to allow for daily meals, this could be a red flag you are all too busy. Consider looking at everyone’s schedules and see if each of you can cut something back – an activity for kids, work times for parents. If schedules can’t be curtailed, then find some consistent time during the week you know you can have a few family meals and make sure everyone is there. If push comes to shove, weekend time is a must.
Weekends: Make sure you have something substantial scheduled for the weekend that everyone can look forward to. This activity doesn’t have to take up the entire day but should take up enough time so that people are relaxed and not looking at their watches worrying about being late for the next activity. Mix up the activities between those that are artistic, relaxing and athletic. And, make sure they are a mix of parent-chosen and kid-chosen activities. You’ll learn a great deal about your child by the activity they opt to do with you and with the family!
Vacations: For kids, sometimes the best vacations are the simplest, even “staycations”. Maximize quality of time over adventure. Kids would rather have your time than be on the go not interacting with you.
2. Individual Goals
Do you know how your kids want to spend time with you? Do they have hobbies they want to explore? As kids get into middle school and high school, these hobbies and needs become more important. Make sure you make it a priority to be interested in what your kids are interested in. Even “googling” the activity so you are up on the latest news and information will go a long way in showing your child you care and want to understand their passion for that activity – and is a fantastic way to connect with them.
3. Outside Time
Talk to your family about how everyone wants to spend time outside. For tweens and teens, it is important that they be heard. For smaller kids, make sure the activities are age-appropriate.
Respect each other’s preferences. I have one daughter who likes less intense sports than my other daughter. We have to balance out the activities we do and sometimes divide and conquer. Compromise becomes very important as does “thinking outside the box” and finding activities that interest everyone so no one feels pressured to do something out of their comfort zone.
Outdoor live museums, sculpture gardens, zooz, botanical gardens, sightseeing, are all great ways to get everyone outside and bonding without “athletic pressure”.
View family time for bonding – not necessarily exercise. If you keep “bonding” in focus for this type of activity, it becomes easier to find places to go that everyone will enjoy without pressure to succeed. Keep in mind that for some people, exercise and sports becomes competitive. Family time should be devoid of that to allow you all to interact more comfortably. You can find other times to get out your adrenaline on the ball fields!!
4. Inside Time
There will be times we all get “stuck” inside – either due to weather or schedules. How do you spend time as a family? Board games, puzzles, cooking in the kitchen are all wonderful ways to bond as a family. Family movie night or watching TiVO’d shows you all enjoy together is another great way to spend time together. We tend to talk through whatever is on and miss most of the show, to be honest!
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