Are you an “opt in” teen parent or an “opt out” teen parent? And, does it matter? I think it does!
My daughter recently participated in Relay For Life with some friends in her freshman high school class and I was stunned to discover that the parents were harder to rally than the teens. Read on.
Relay is an amazing event. Organized nationally by the American Cancer Society, this one event teaches teems the true value of teamwork, community service, and volunteerism.
The American Cancer Society always makes it easy to participate in these events between their printed materials, website and meetings. However, because the teams are teens, lead by teens, there does need to be adult involvement to pull this off and to keep the event safe. In addition to implying that parents be involved behind the scene, there’s a strict chaperone requirement for the entire 12 hour overnight.
Parent involvement started a month before the event by requiring a signed permission slip. That part occurred easily. Multiple phone calls, emails and Facebook posts began around the same time outlining deadlines, needed supplies and the chaperone requirements. It took my husband getting involved a week before to pull that together. Parents, in general, were resistant to commit.
Our team pulled it off in the end. A few other teams were not so lucky and were prohibited from participating because not a single parent would step up to chaperone. And, on a few teams, teens intending to participate failed to show up with their supplies because their parents wouldn’t let them participate at the 11th hour without warning. We heard through the grape vine that social plans were the typical reason.
Weekends are crazy for everyone and I’m not suggesting we all volunteer for every event our kids consider doing. However, not all events are made equal. We should be applauding the mature and altruistic interests of our kids and bending over backwards to help them fulfill their goals. Those are the events we need to be involved with. Those are the events we should be pausing our lives for in order to bear witness to our kids’ lives. Those are the events, in fact, we should put a priority on for our teens because they teach our teens important skills that will help shape their future lives.
So, don’t blindly “opt out” of volunteer events involving your teen until you are sure you won’t be kicked in the face later on by doing so. Social time is something we can always carve out more of but time to support our teen and the causes important to them is time limited with graduation day being the end point.
Wouldn’t you rather be part of the action and witness first hand your teen doing the amazing things your teen is trying to do than end up sitting in the parents’ section on graduation day wishing you had?
