Is my son ready for kindergarten?
Q) Dear Dr. Gwenn:
My son, Calvin, will be 5 in late July, ten days shy of our public school district's cutoff to begin kindergarten in August. Our preschool teacher says he is fine academically, but socially immature. He has ADHD. He will challenge authority. He will try to lead. He may have trouble being bored or overwhelmed.
He is reading, writing his name, can count to 130, recognizes different coins, shapes, colors, animals, and is interested in music. Our child psychologist says to put him in now, then he won't be the biggest or oldest one in class. Many moms I've spoken with say they never regretted holding their sons back.
Still, it ultimately our decision as his parents. We have made some decisions though. We are going to put Calvin in public school for a month of summer school as a test. At the same time, I am reserving spots in local preschools as a backup plan for fall, just in case.
What is the right thing to do here? This decision on Calvin's behalf seems so life altering and important. I'm losing sleep over it.
Thank you for your reply.
Wendy
A) Dear Wendy:
In short, your son is ready for kindergarten when he has turned 5 and outgrown preschool. Calvin has done both. Calvin has the academic proficiencies needed for kindergarten, the preschool experience, the thumbs up from his current teacher and psychologist, and the age. Can't get much more ready that that.
I would caution you about your summer school plan. There is such a big difference between and older 4 and a younger 5 that a trial of summer school will not give you the answers you seek. Kindergarten entry guidelines are established based on prior experience with 4 and 5 year olds enterring elementary school. 4 year olds don't traditionally do well but 5 year olds do - regardless of how "5" they are.
Kindergarten is really is a prep year - something beyond preschool but not quite real elementary school whose mission is true school readiness. Sure, there are some academics in kindergarten but not the three R's that most parents think of. Kindergarten is more about learning to be ready to learn. The kids learn how to focus, listen, transition from one task to another. They learn how to get about the school. They learn to adjust to a longer and more organized day. They learn to interact with teachers and peers on a different level.
What if you put Calvin in kindergarten and find that he was truly not ready? This happens less often they you would think but developmentally it is better to have more kindergarten when 5 years old than more preschool. He will at least gain the experience in the school he will be in for years so should he need to be held back in kindergarten, it won’t be a year wasted.Kids who are held back when very young adjust well. If there ever was a time to hold a child back in elementary school, early, early on is it. They have less social ties and are much less aware of the big picture.
While it is true that boys are less mature at 5 years of age than girls, maturity and academic success don’t go hand in hand. A child who starts kindergarten closer to 6 years of age will always appear more competent than a child who started younger so that is really not a fair comparison. The better is question is this: how would those kids have done if they had not been held back and allowed to enter kindergarten according to the school cutoffs? The answer: just fine for the majority of kids.
Part of your struggle is as a parent seeing your child get older. Calvin is becoming a true big kid and deserves to be tested. As a parent, I’ve learned that you never truly know what your kids are capable of until they are tested. Sometimes they do just fine and sometimes you have to step in and modify the plan. But, they should be given the chance to rise to the occasion of other kid. You'll never know unless you try.
Best,
Dr. Gwenn
