Charity begins at home

Last year around Turkey Day, my then 5 year old asked her sister about Santa. “What if Santa gets the list wrong and we don’t get what we want?” My older daughter, then 8, looked at her, patted her on the head, and said: “it’s not the gift that counts but the love – being with family”. Then, without taking a breath, she whispered, “but don’t worry, he’ll get us the American Girl dolls – I just know it!” How do you argue with that logic?

Teaching our kids to understand how to “give” is a challenge when our society is so obsessed with “things” in mass quantities. Waiting for the holiday season is too late to teach that sort of lesson – it needs to be done year ‘round.

Reminding ourselves of how a child views the world will help unlock the mystery of how to teach them what the “season of giving” is really about:

• Kids think money grows on trees partly because to them it really just pops up when needed. Use daily teachable moments like depositing your paycheck, doing bills or grocery shopping to introduce some basic economic ideas that you can expand on as they mature and develop.
• Kids who believe in Santa don’t care that toys cost money because Santa brings the toys. Step into your kids’ imaginations and use their magical thinking to create Santa’s world with some “magical” economics. Some of my friends have told their kids that Santa has made deals with companies to use his magic in those factories to make the toys.
• In a kid’s mind, there is never such as thing as “too many toys” so, don’t go there – it is not an argument any child will cave on!
• The fact that other kids don’t have toys or are starving is a bit too far removed for them to really understand “how lucky they are” but that does not mean they don’t know that some people don’t live as well as others. Even Disney movies address these ideas. Kids naturally want to help and give. It’s only when adults don’t keep reinforcing that lesson that children forget the lesson of giving as they get older and become adults.

So, keeping this kid-oriented view of economics in mind, here are some ideas to use with your family to battle the heavy-handed commercialism of the season:

• Teach your kids that gifts don’t have to come from a store by having them make gifts or decorate cookies to give to important people in their lives.
• If they want to “buy” a gift, have them “earn” the money by doing chores at home. This will also reinforce that “things” have value and that the money for “things” comes from hard work and patience.
• Teach them to give by seeing you give. Get them involved at home when you round up old clothes and toys to donate to Goodwill. Have them give you some of their saved money to donate a new toy for Toys For Tots. And, make sure they contribute something to holiday food drives. The more they learn to give the more it will become second nature to them and part of who they are.
• If it’s not a special time, don’t let them talk you into buying them something they don’t really need. Waiting and wanting is a good lesson in and of itself.

According to Webster’s online dictionary, “charity” means “benevolent goodwill toward or love of humanity; generosity and helpfulness….”. Kids are born to give – it’s our job to keep that lesson close to their hearts in and in their minds so that they become giving adults someday.

Happy Holidays!

© 2005 Pediatrics Now.
All rights reserved. PEDIATRICS NOW is a trademark of Pediatrics Now.

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