 Slow
down life in 2004 to be a better parent and
person
By Gwenn Schurgin O’Keeffe, MD, FAAP
Your Kid’s
Health, The
Salem News
January
5, 2004
Happy Birthday, 2004! I love the New Year –
our annual mental game of wiping our slates
clean, setting upon a new and improved path,
and then seeing how long we can “last”
before we revert back to old habits. Have you
noticed that typical resolutions are things
we should be doing all the time: eating better,
exercising more, relaxing more? Why is it that
we never really resolve to tackle the tough
issues – like how to not loose ourselves
with the ever growing buzz of technology and
demands of juggling work, home, kids, and marriages?
As 2003 was winding down and 2004 was fast approaching,
an almost zen-ish aura started to creep into
my day completely by accident. With the hecticness
of the holidays, friends started to use the
phone again instead of email and we all began
connecting more over coffee and just laughing
over everything. At home, we started to just
hang out together and not rush to the computer
or TV. I even entered the world of herbal teas
and started to carve out some time in the afternoon
to enjoy the latest flavor – before long
my kids joined in the fun with hot chocolate.
On one store run to find a new flavor of herbal
tea, I stumbled upon an interesting poem on
one of the Celestial Seasons boxes: “if
I had my child to raise over again” by
Diane Loomans:
“If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d finger paint more, and point the finger
less.
I’d do less correcting, and more connecting.
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch
with my eyes.
I would care to know less, and know to care
more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously
play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at
more stars.
I’d do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much
more.
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house
later.
I’d teach less about the love of power,
and more about the power of love.”
Sound familiar? Can’t flip through a magazine
or paper or even buy herbal tea without some
sort of poem like this. Remember “tag,
you’re it” that I shared with you
last year? Perhaps we need to play as hard as
we work, and work hard at play. Perhaps if we
shelf some of the gems of modern society for
a bit each day, the computer, palm pilot, smart
phone, and cell phone, we’ll feel less
harried and stressed. Perhaps if we find a way
to refresh our souls daily we will become the
kind of parents, spouses, workers, people we
hope to be.
Sad to think it may come down to this but we
may all need to schedule “fun” and
“relaxation” into our palm pilots
until we remember how to do it naturally. Practice
makes perfect! Plus, I have no doubt our inner
children still remember how to play and have
fun. Let them drive the ship for a while and
I doubt we’ll be disappointed with the
results.
As we start a new year
of columns, parents and their needs will be
one of the themes that I’ll touch on
from time to time. Let me take this opportunity
to remind you that you can email me with any
questions or topic ideas at: yourkidshealth@yahoo.com.
I’ll try to answer as many questions
as I can in a future column. Please note,
I may share your stories and ideas but never
your identity or hometown.
Until then, pull out your palm pilots and
set up some play dates with the inner child
in your world and let the fun be your guide.
© 2005 Pediatrics
Now.
All rights reserved. PEDIATRICS NOW is a trademark
of Pediatrics Now.
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