The bond between children and parents transcends time

Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
~ Franklin P. Jones

As parents, we set the standard for how we hope our kids will treat others in their lives from their friends to eventually their own partners and children. Our kids learn that standard from us by our actions and words. The American Academy of Pediatrics recently published “tips for Valentine’s Day” and is designed to help us remember the many faces of love and how we can maximize our ability to help our kids develop into the best people they can be – in body and in soul- no matter what time of year it is:

• Use positive words with your child and banish put-downs.
• Respond promptly and lovingly to your child's physical and emotional needs.
• Set a good example at home and in public. Use words like "I'm sorry," "please," and "thank you."
• When your child is angry, argumentative or in a bad mood, give him a hug, cuddle, pat, secret sign or other gesture of affection he favors.
• Use non-violent forms of discipline. Institute both rewards and restrictions many years before adolescence to ward off later trouble. Once kids become teens, allowing them to break important rules constantly without being disciplined only encourages more rule violations.
• Make plans for one on one time with your kids away from the rest of the family.
• Mark family game nights on your calendar so the entire family can be together.
• Consider owning a pet. Pets help kids, including those with chronic illnesses and disabilities, feel better by stimulating physical activity, lifting their spirits, and offering companionship.
• Teach your child about good food choices by cooking and grocery shopping together.
• As your kids focus more and more on developing and refining a variety of skills and abilities in all areas of life, help them out by providing not only encouragement but the proper equipment and instruction.
• Help protect and strengthen your child’s body by taking your child to the doctor regularly, keeping him safe from accidents, provide a nutritious diet, and encourage exercise throughout childhood,
• Regardless of whether you actively try to pass on your values and beliefs to your child, she is bound to absorb some of them just by living with you. She'll notice how disciplined you are in your work, how deeply you hold your beliefs and whether you practice what you preach.
• Your child needs your steady support and encouragement to discover his strengths and develop a strong self-esteem. He needs you to believe in him as he learns to believe in himself. Loving him, spending time with him, listening to him and praising his accomplishments are all part of this process.
• Don't forget to say, "I love you" to children of all ages!

The Robert Munsch book Love You Forever poignantly shows how the bond between parents and kids transcends time and crosses generations. And, causes even the hardiest of parents to reach for the tissue by the end. The book starts with a young mom rocking a baby and singing a poem to him. She sings the poem to the boy every day no matter what chaos has erupted whether it be destroying the house as a toddler or destroying her ears with teenage music. The story shows the boy becoming a man and singing to his mother the same poem no matter how much she calls to nag him to visit or how sick she becomes. Then, the story shows the man as a new father and rocking his own baby girl start singing the same poem: I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.
Here’s to creating a cycle that will never be broken.

© 2005 Pediatrics Now. All rights reserved. PEDIATRICS NOW is a trademark of Pediatrics Now.

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