Reading the tweets and news stories condemning Paula for not disclosing her diabetes sooner, and accusing her of doing so for personal gain, I’m reminded of the old American Indian Proverb:

Never criticize a man until you’ve walked a mile in his moccasins.

She was incredibly honest with Al Roker on TODAY for her reasons to stay quiet initially: “I came home, I told my children, I told my husband, I said, ‘I’m gonna keep this close to my chest for the time being’ because I had to figure out things in my own head.”

And, in the same interview, she noted changes she’s made since her diagnoses in her diet and in exercise and in what her show does and doesn’t promote:

“I have always eaten in moderation….You know, people see me on TV two or three times a day and they see me cooking all these wonderfully Southern, fattening dishes. That’s only 30 days out of 365….And it’s for entertainment. And people have to be responsible.”

Did you know that when a person gets diagnosed with a chronic condition, the person experiences the same 5 stages of grief as when a loved one dies? Noted by famed physician Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, they are:

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Depression
4. Bargaining
5. Acceptance

As with all grief, moving through these stages takes time. There are many starts and stops and it’s easy to get stuck along the way. Having experienced first hand all of these stages when I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis 2 1/2 years ago, I can tell you the process is incredibly intense, not at all easy and slow. So, 3 years may seem like a long time to you, a person without a chronic condition, but to someone learning to adjust to a new normal, it’s actually not that long at all. Remember, this process becomes the start of the rest of someone’s life.

The reality of chronic diseases is they are much less like the American Indian Proverb I quoted initially and much more like this Dutch Proverb:

Sickness comes on horseback but departs on foot.

One reason I’m stepping forward to support Paula is because I’ve seen how powerful celebrity and expert spokespeople can be in the world of chronic conditions. In the arthritis world, pro golfer Phil Mickelson has had a very well received campaign sponsored by Pfizer for psoriatic arthritis and Enbrel. His campaign and ads helped me enormously even though I have a different form of arthritis.  They came on TV when I was facing a particularly though time with my RA and gave me just what I needed to feel more hopeful and positive about the future , the medications I found myself on, and the activities I put on hold. Incidentally, no one questioned why Phil waited over a year to come forward with his story or why he was partnering with Pfizer to help others with arthritis. If Paula can do that for diabetes, more power to her!

We live in a media world where the glass is always half empty and reported that way. How about we start looking at the glass as half full and start giving people trying to help others the benefit of the doubt for a change.

With the federal health reform bill inching closer to becoming a true law, it’s still up for debate whether it will even begin to put a dent in turning around our very confusing, disjointed, expensive and chaotic health care system.

The issue, of course, is that health insurance is not even the tip of the iceberg. Without reforming the innards of the health care system and giving people a system that they can understand and use more easily, it matters very little whether people have insurance coverage.

At the same time, true reform is less about any system and more about how people address their own lives and health habits. Even in a broken system, there are many things we can all do to improve our overall health and minimize our need to see doctors, be on prescription and nonprescription medications, and need medical procedures.

If we all applied ourselves to spending more time on the areas that improve our health for the better — such as exercising more, losing weight, addressing health problems that put us on medications — we’d all be better off, and our health care system would actually start to be unloaded and cost less, even in its current form.

This doesn’t just apply to adults but kids, too. Kids deserve to enter their adult lives as healthy as possible, so be honest with them about their health issues — whatever they may be. Help kids overcome health issues today so they can be more healthy tomorrow. Believe me, if your kids are overweight or dealing with some other medical issue, they know it and want help addressing it.

With the new year upon us, this is the perfect time to examine the habits we have that maximize good health and be realistic about the habits we have that put our good health at risk. For example, ask yourselves:

- What do I do for exercise?

- What do I eat and drink drink each day? (Keeping a log for a week can be very eye-opening!)

- How many packs of cigarettes do I smoke per week — or day? (If “none,” congratulations!)

- Do I have health problems I need to address?

- Am I on medications I’d like to be off of?

- When was the last time I went to the doctor for a general physical?

Sit down as a family and answer these questions together. Then work together on the issues that you all have in common and help each other with the issues unique to each person. By the end of 2010, you’ll all be more fit and will have kicked some habits you’ve needed to for a long time.

You deserve to live a healthy life, and that type of reform can’t be found in any health care law but starts with you and the changes you make in your life.

In fact, those are the only health care reform changes that really matter in the long run to you and your family, so start reforming today.

(Initially published January 2010)

As a digital photography nut, I’m constantly on the hunt for inspirational photo taking prompts. One of the photo groups I belong to sends out a weekly theme to help focus our shots. This week’s theme is “shelves”. So, it was a natural leap for me to use my camera to convey what came to my mind when I learned about the Million Moms Challenge.

This photo is a teeny glimpse of the Momspiration I’ve received over the years that has fueled me to become who I am today, as a mom, as an author, as a wife, as a person. It’s interesting, and rather fortuitous as a blogger and photographer, that the most profound Momspirational moments have also come with stuff!

Some of this stuff may not look cool, but, trust me, it is.

1. A gift of a statue – and a glimpse at freedom: 

The Statue of Liberty figure always makes me smile because it was given to me while living in Illinois and working in Wisconsin from a family from Russia. The mom of a very sick boy gave it to me on the day he was discharged after a prolonged hospitalization.  As she handed me the tissue wrapped figure, she said “Lady Liberty was our sign of freedom when we first came to this country. When you look at this, remember us, and remember that being true to who you are will be your path to freedom.”

I was actually on a career path I was not thrilled with and somehow this mom sensed it. Her random act of kindness gave me a jolt of bravery to take a detour onto a new career path. When I have writer’s block or I’m wondering if I made the right choice to become a health journalist, one look at that statue is all I need to regroup, especially if combined with a piping hot latte.

2. Validation and Confirmation

The three cards on the shelf span my entire career as a working mom, all given to me by moms whose kids I was treating for acute illnesses.

The arrival of each card was unexpected, which made them all the sweeter.

• “Thank you for your personal sharing of an approach to juggling “2” – your girls are very lucky. Hopefully we’ll do just fine.”
• “Thank you so much for not just doing the easy thing for yourself that night. (That treatment) would have been horrible for all of us. You really went “above and beyond the call of duty” and our whole family really appreciated it.”
• “Thank you for being our pediatrician and friend. We are going to miss you but will always remember the special care and concern you gave to our children…and for always responding to my calls, questions, and concerns. You are a special person and have a definate talent with kids and adults too!”

Working long days in a health care system that can be thankless, receiving notes like this is the best medicine any doc can receive!

3. Young Heros

The cute bear was sent to me by the Coins4Kids founders, Jon and Greg. I had featured their group in an article covering the amazing ways kids help kids. These amazing teens came up with the kids to have people collect spare coins to help kids with cancer. The bear, Dawson, is named after their cousin who was battling childhood cancer at the time. Their mom, Deb, told me that teaching kids to give was one of the best lessons we could teach our kids. Given the success of Coins4Kids, I’d say her sons mastered that class!

Learning about Coins4Kids and other groups started by kids inspired me and my husband to make sure our kids learned to give starting very young. We have the penny bank Jon and Greg gave us in our family room and keep collecting, hoping to fill it soon to send them a donation. And, each year we give to causes in our area important to local kids with our kids’ input.

So, the Dawson bear represents giving in so many ways. But, it also helps remind me how lucky I am to have healthy kids.

4. Time for family

One of my biggest hurdles over the years was finding the right balance between work and family. Looking at art work my kids have made helps ground me and keep the scale always slanted towards my family. Whenever I’ve been at a crossroads, making a choice that benefits my family has never turned out wrong. The little clay people and candle holder were made by my girls are just a few of the many reminders I have around me each day to remind me that they only have one childhood – and they need their parents involved in it.

5. Time for mom

I knew I had achieved a balance that was working when I was able to successfully write and publish my first book CyberSafe.  Talking to other mom authors and learning from them the many ways they juggled their lives to achieve their writing goals helped me enormously.

Final Thoughts

I wish I could see all these moms again and thank them. While I know many of them were reaching out to me because of something I did to impact their lives, it would be great to one day have the chance to tell them that what they gave me in return words can’t completely capture. So, to those moms, if you are reading this: thank you!

Take a moment to reflect on whose been Momspirational in your life and share it on the Million Moms Community page. The more we all share, the more funds will be raised for moms around the world who need our help to have the resources to live a healthy life and raise a healthy family.

Instead of my usual blog post, in honor of Orange Nose Day I’m simply going to share with you a health message and a picture.

First, the message:

If you want your kids to use technology less, use it less yourself!

Now, the picture:

One more thing…

Tag…You’re IT! Click here to be part of the healthy message fun.

My family has a tradition of getting all our back-to-school shopping completed just before our big end of the summer vacation. Lunch boxes used to be big ticket back to school items but since my girls are tweens now, as Hilary Duff once sang, “that’s so yesterday”. Plus on most school days we’re lucky if their lunches make it from the frig to their backpacks!

If only the choice of what to have for lunch these days were as easy as whether to brown bag it or have a fancy lunch box. With the confusing food pyramid and ever changing food guidelines coupled with school days that barely allow for time to eat lunch, it is truly a challenge to get kids a proper lunch.

Let me give you a preview of what’s about to come: don’t view nutrition as one meal but view it as a group of meals that balance out together and function like a bank; lunch may very well be the new breakfast, meaning our kids most important energy meal.

Some Thoughts To Ponder

As my kids have gotten older, I’ve realized that helping my kids eat healthy is a balance between offering healthy foods, giving them control of some of their meals, and helping them learn to incorporate the less healthy foods with the healthy foods. Concerning lunch specifically:

1. Given how much of their day is decided by others, especially at school, I give my kids total control over what they have for lunch among the foods we have at home.
2. I’ve started to realize that lunch is not just a meal in a day but a meal that has to get my kids through the entire day including learning and after school activities. It is perhaps their most important energy meal when viewed this way.
3. Fruits and veggies are crucial to their overall growth but don’t always get that energy jolt needed to learn.  So, I tend reserve fruits and veggies for dinner and after-school snacks and add more carbohydrates like pretzels and granola bars for lunch and in-school snacks.  The energy they provide lasts longer for my girls.
4. It occurred to me that getting through a school day is like a mini marathon for my kids but involving both body and mind.  Just like with a marathon, hydration becomes as crucial as energy. So, I’ve put more emphasis on what they drink during the day and how much.
5. When my kids have a sugary snack occurring at school, we don’t pack a snack that day or pack veggie sticks but leave lunch untouched. Lunch needs to happen as planned to learn well.

Kids and Food: The Big Picture

These concepts that have helped me, can work for your kids, too. In addition, you have to remember that kids have simple tastes hence why kids menus have the same 5 foods on them regardless of the restaurant! And, unlike us parents, kids can truly eat the same meal every day without getting bored. I swear my youngest daughter will one day become a ham or waffle!

As I mentioned earlier, considering lunch in the big picture of your child’s overall nutrition is really helpful.  The government’s new food pyramid (www.mypyramid.gov) gives a great visual description of what kids should eat during the day but it can be overwhelming. I know my kids don’t come anywhere close to what the pyramid suggests for a given day but their nutrition is fine if I take into account what they eat over the course of a few days.  So, if one day has more carbohydrates or fewer fruits, I help them make-up for it the next day. If one day has an extra treat built in, we skip dessert.

Your Kids Food Bank

Give and take, and balance. Those are the ultimate ingredients to success. Each meal has its own role in a child’s day. Breakfast jump starts our bodies after a long sleep. Dinner helps us refuel after the afternoon of physical and mental work and gives us fuel to keep our bodies going while we sleep. Lunch, on the other hand, has to catch us up from the morning and get us through the afternoon until dinner. A lot is being asked of our kids through the day, and lunch has to meet all those needs, including physical growth.  In many ways, breakfast and lunch need to be a bit more carbohydrate slanted and snacks and dinner more balanced with fruits and vegetables.

Lunch is tricky because of not only how brief it is in most schools but because of how important it is. Kids have to make up from energy lost from the morning and store energy for the afternoon, and eat it in about 10 minutes. Pre-cut fruits and vegetables and even prepackaged items such as the new 100 calorie packs are very useful for both purposes. The 100 calorie packs also visually teach portion control which is very useful for prepubertal and early pubertal kids who are primed to gain weight entering puberty. Using these items may not seem healthy to you but it’s what the kids like to eat and what they see their friends eating.

Sandwiches tend to be the best way to get grains and proteins done all at once and are easy to eat quickly. Kids tend to not like the taste of the real grainy breads so try the grain or wheat breads that look like white.   My kids can’t tell the difference.

Finally, for hydration with lunch, my choice is water. Kids don’t get enough during the school day and while I understand that school nutritionists view lunch as a way of getting calcium into our kids we can do that at home. What our kids need is water and more of it during school.

My kids hate buying lunch at school but I know many kids who love school lunches. The problem is school lunches are not always as balanced as they should be. On days your child buys lunch, plan dinners higher in proteins, fruits and vegetables and less in fats and carbohydrates to balance out the day better. Be sure you ask your kids specifically what they had for lunch if they buy to help you plan meals better.

Finally, no school year would be complete without the birthday treats and special events but that extra sugar load need not derail our child’s nutrition train. You can plan a healthier lunch the day of the treat or the next day to balance out the extra treat. Or, just skip dessert with dinner that night. I’m a believer that our kids can have a daily treat once a day but if it happens at school, then it doesn’t happen after school. This is how our kids learn to incorporate the sweets into a normal diet without adding pounds.

Making Deposits and Withdrawals

Clearly lunch will provide the most benefit if the remainder of your child’s meals are healthy.  Kids need breakfast  and skipping it is akin to trying to start a car without gas.  At the end of a day, kids need a healthy dinner, preferably with the entire family as studies demonstrate huge value to kids for the family meal and time together around the table. It fuels their souls! This may not be logistically possible if parents work late or kids need to eat earlier, but have a consistent time all of you are around the table. Perhaps breakfast works better for your family or dessert.

In addition to healthy eating, regular exercise has to be a priority. After sitting in school all day, kids need to burn off steam and have some unstructured time.  You don’t need a gym or organized sport. Just playing outside and regular walks together as a family can go a long way to staying fit. When I was a kid, my dad and I would go for a walk after dinner. Exercise and family time all wrapped into one – and calorie free!

What about weekends? Most weight experts and programs advocate a 5:2 plan for staying on track and this can work for families, too. You stay on track Monday through Friday with healthy eating and exercise but loosen the reins on weekends.  This is when most families eat out or order pizza. There is nothing wrong with indulging once in a while if the remainder of your week is healthy with food and exercise. If our kids learn this now, they’ll have it well ingrained by the time they are on their own.  But, even on weekends, lunch is still the pivot meal. You can’t skip it just because you are having a bit dinner that night. Eat lighter but still eat lunch.  It is that important.

Lunch: the new breakfast

So, breakfast, watch out, there’s a new meal in town, that may very well be more important than you are.

Here’s to a wonderful school year with new horizons and healthy choices…and perhaps even time for our kids to eat their lunch.

(Originally posted August 2007; Updated September 2011)

Family Works: When to call the doctor: MyFoxBOSTON.com

“Stop the World, I want to Get Off!” I remember seeing that play years and years ago at summer camp. That phrase runs through my mind a lot lately as the pace of things seems to speed up more and more. I recently got one of those “smart phones” – phone, email, camera gadget. It’s really cool and can connect me anywhere any time to anyone. But, do I really want to be that accessible? On the one hand – yes and on the other: NO WAY! Sometimes not being reachable is a good thing.

We all know the drill: carpools, jobs, housework, shopping. Add to that “extras” like doctors appointments and after school activities and evening meetings and it’s no wonder most of us freeze completely when our Palm Pilots hiccup and erase our schedules.

Well, we can’t stop the entire world but we sure can slow down our own worlds. Perhaps if we focus on our immediate worlds – our kids, our family, our neighborhoods, our communities, life will once again seem in control and manageable. As part of my quest of sanity for 2004, I’ve been thinking a lot about the little things I can do at home to stop the clock and really let my kids know we are there. I’ve decided that to be a better mom I have to be a better me – we often forget ourselves as parents and somehow need to reclaim that first. Putting our kids first always may be what is causing some of the craziness.

So, there are two things we need to do: learn to just “be” with ourselves and learn to just “be” with our kids. I’d suggest that at least one to two times a day you find a way to have no way of being reached – and just “be”. Zone out to music like when you were a teenager. Blast the radio in the car or shower and sing your heart out. Read a good romantic novel or mystery – nothing too “literary”, just fun! Just sit in your kitchen and look out the window – no TV’s or radio or cells or beepers.You don’t need to do this for long – even 10-15 minutes a day will help.

Here are some things you can do to just “be” with your kid:

1. family game night
2. plan a picnic in the family room on a rainy day
3. bake cookies
4. make cards for relatives
5. read a book
6. watch a favorite movie together
7. cuddle while eating breakfast
8. play a game of cards
9. cancel a lunch date to be with your child
10. say “no” to an extra volunteer thing to just be home
11. run errands another time – do they really need to be done after school with a car load of kids?
12. Dance with your child!
13. Run around the house shrieking and laughing!

Here is an interesting twist to this message – you can actually teach your kids just to “be”. Help them find a few minutes each day to unwind and if you can’t find that time ask yourself if there is too much on your child’s plate. And, teach your kids to appreciate what the adults in their lives do for them.

Sad to think that we have to teach our kids to relax but that seems to be just part of the package lately – especially with tough world events in the mix on top of our usually daily grinds.

So, this week pick one stressful thing to give up and one new calm thing to try. Make this a family project and see where you are in the next week. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

The lazy days of summer are finally here! Have you been having fun with your family so far? We’ve been enjoying the nice weather and taking advantage of not having such zany schedules.

My favorite part of the summer is to embody the “lazy” from the “lazy days of summer” motto and attempt to find ways to convince my family to embark upon that journey with me. Far from becoming couch potatoes, slowing down is more of a state of mind…a way to refuel and take some time to just go where the wind blows and unclog our minds from the months of road dust that our more hurried lives had deposited.

The unique elements of the summer are the prefect backdrop for this much needed change of pace, but also need to be considered for their powerful seasonal characteristics. To get you on your way, here are my Lazy Summer tips:

Lube up! The sun is stronger this time of year and puts everyone at risk for burning so lube up everyone liberally (2 months and older) with sunscreen SPF 15 or higher.

Always hydrate. Heat illnesses are serious and can creep on kids and adults quickly. Keep everyone hydrated and if anyone seems overly tired or looks dehydrated, seek care immediately.

Zap those bugs. Biting bugs can carry infection so be sure to use DEET bug spray 10-30% for children 2 months of age and older.

You only have one head so protect it! If someone is in motion on a bike, skateboard or even jet ski, they need to protect the head. Having a “no helmet, no bike/skakeboarding/etc policy” and wearing a helmet yourself goes a long way in reinforcing this rule.

Swim smartly. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends all kids 4 and older take swim lessons. However, this isn’t a replacement for adult supervision near water but a way to assist children in becoming more water safe as they get older and stronger.

Unplug! Use the summer to unplug and get outdoors. Untethered by technology, you’ll all see the world differently and find yourselves unwinding in ways impossible to during the school year.

Mowing is for adults. Lawn mowers injuries are incredibly serious and avoidable. Kids younger than 12 should never operate push mowers and kids under 16 should never operate ride-ons. And, kids should never ride on mowers with anyone else…ever!

Move and groove every day! Take advantage the long days of summer to get everyone moving more and every day.  You may even find a few activities that can carry over into the next school year.

Eat for the season. The summer is a goldmine for wonderful, fresh fruits and vegetables that make eating new and exciting, even for kids. Take advantage of that to find new, healthy foods for your family that can carry over into the fall and winter, and help balance out the yummy summer ice cream treats.

Remember to focus on fun and family! Family time can be a precious commodity in the school year so grab it while you can this summer and just go for broke with fun being the only rule.

Here’s to a fantastic summer!

Let’s face it, unless you were from Indianapolis or New Orleans, the ads and half time show are what got you, your friends and family around that TV last night. It’s a true American tradition for all of us.  The game is always exciting and last night’s certainly did not disappoint but most of us watch to see what new and exciting PR moves will be displayed from one year to the next.

Last night, there were a few surprises. One of the biggest, was this one, from Mark Sanchez:

Watch CBS Videos Online

February is Go Red for Women Month, sponsored by the American Heart Association to raise awareness about heart disease in women, and dollars for research. So, while seemingly out of place during a football game, that PSA is actually the perfect place for it!  With all millions of viewers, men and women, that was a brilliant move by CBS to team up with leading experts to help get an important message out about one of the biggest killers of women today.

What most people don’t realize is how many women of all ages are impacted by heart disease and how how it can strike. The symptoms can be incredibly vague and are often missed by even the most experienced of physicians, which is incredibly frightening to contemplate. This is part of the reason women are not as treated as aggressively in emergency rooms for heart attacks and heart-related issues as men…the issues are not as readily identified.

It’s time everyone become more aware: men, women and the health care community.

Kudos to CBS for shedding light on this very important issue and bringing it to the forefront of everyone’s mind.

If you want to hear a story of one young 39 year old women who suffered not one but two heart attacks before the age of 45, click here. Here story, as told to ABC News, is more common than you realize and is the story we all need to keep in our minds. It could happen to any of us as women  and to any of the  women in our lives.

Each January, people of all ages resolve to be more fit, eat healthier and dabble in some new and exciting hobbies that have been shelved for far too long. Living by a food, fitness and fun mentality is what I’ve always believed will fuel our souls and help us build in some moderation and restraint for each area.

And, there’s the rub! We mean well, we really do. But, more times than not, we undo our own good intentions by not quite getting where to draw the line between healthy practices and excess. We start off on the right foot with healthy practices but often go overboard and then burn out very quickly, abandoning the new ways for the old, unhealthy ways before the grass pokes through the snow.

If you look a bit deeper at what drives us from getting off track, it’s typically one of a handful of health myths that permeate our society. Here are my favorite, the ones I hear most often:

Myth 1: If you exercise or play a sport you will be fit (or are fit).
Myth 2: Any sleep is better than no sleep and will keep your body functioning well.
Myth 3: It’s ok to eat too much or too little once in a while.

The reality of each couldn’t be further from the myth!

1. Myth 1 Reality:

In truth, being fit is about doing the right exercise in the right way with a mix of aerobic activities and weight bearing exercises. It’s important that our entire body gets moving every week and most of us don’t do that. Sports are fun and have the camaraderie of the team aspect but don’t make us fit given how long we play and the intensity of the play.

So, if you just shoot hoops with the guys or girls, play golf, or play in a baseball or softball league, you won’t be fit. But, if you add biking, jogging, walking, swimming and some weight lifting a couple times a week…you’re much more on your way!

2. Myth 2 Reality:

Our bodies require at least 8 hours of sleep to function well. During sleep, our muscles, nerves, mind and soul repair itself from the day’s wear and tear. If sleep is short-changed, that repair process becomes incomplete and our body isn’t reset to it’s steady state. We do ok with less sleep once in a while but if we short-change sleep chronically, our bodies begin to not function well and other symptoms begin to develop – headaches, GI symptoms, even muscle cramping and pain.

Too much sleep can actually make us feel more tired and doesn’t “catch up” for missed sleep from another time.

It’s best to attempt to have steady sleep as much as possible and if sleep becomes chronically disrupted to consult your physician to help get it back on track.

3. Myth 3 Reality:

Eating must be balanced and regular. Our bodies require a certain amount of calories each day and in the right proportion to function well. If we eat too little, we short change our bodies of valuable calories for energy and nutrients for our body’s systems. If we eat too much, our body has to deal with the excess and we feel punky. Best to strive for a “just right” amount whenever possible.

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So, this new year work on busting these myths to get your food, fitness and fun on the path to good health in a way that not only will count but will stick around long term.