Marriage Cancelled: The Kim and Kris Story

In our day and age of reality shows, people seem to forget that life isn’t a made for TV anything. Some lives are captured and shown on TV, and those lives are somewhat produced for those shows. But, the majority of us just live our lives, for better and worse, for sickness and health…and recognize that to get the sweet, you have to ride through the bitter and give it time. I’m talking years of time – not 72 days as Kim recently gave her marriage to basketball player husband Kris Humphries.

There are many wedding vow variations in ceremonies but the traditional one is typically along the lines of:

“I______take________to be my husband/wife/spouse/partner, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, through sickness and in health, to love and to honor, till death do us part.”

Wedding vows always seem to have a clause that includes “better or worse”, “richer or poor”, “sickness and health”, “untill dealth”. In otherwords, we’re in this for the long haul, baby!

What I found interesting peering in what we were allowed to see of the Kim/Kris relationship was that he seemed to get this. He talked about the long haul, the fact that the focus on their lives would shift over time to kids and other priorities and that compromise was the name of the game. She didn’t, however. For Kim, the ride was about her and her needs. Let’s face it, she couldn’t even cope with havingn to move to support his career.

A People Magazine story early this week noted Kim stated the following soon after the wedding:

“We have to find our home base…He lives in Miami and Minnesota. I’m in L.A., so we had to find where that home base is going to be. We’re waiting for the lockout to end to see where he’s going to play.”

Shouldn’t this have been sorted out well before the wedding? And, even in situations when things are up in the air, most couples, that is, couples in the real world, learn that give and take is what makes marriages work and stay strong.

From the same article, check out this exchange between the couple:

 Kim, pre-wedding: “How am I going to have my career and live in Minnesota?”
     Kris: “Baby, by the time you have kids and they’re in school, no one will care about you.”

He’s thinking family and sacrifice, she’s thinking “me”. No wonder they hit an impasse so early in the marriage after the high of the wedding wore off. The thing is, this is normal newly wed stuff. Kim needs to wake up and realize that money and fame don’t give her a free pass to not enduring the same life pains as the rest of us in marriage and family life.

It’s no wonder the divorce rate is so high. Too many people like Kim seem to think real relationships are like the ones on TV. There’s a reason TV is called “entertainment”.

By the way, this story is just loaded with teachable moments for our impressionable tweens and teens so sit down and talk to them about it. See what they know and understand. Help them correct any misguided notions. The earlier they learn that a wedding is just a day and that being a diva is not becoming on anyone, the quicker that persona will start to become less acceptable in our society from anyone, rich or poor.

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